• Valerie Felder

How to Bring Honor to Annoying Differences in Your Children (Part 2 of 3)

Recall from the previous post that we, as parents, must be careful not to negate the good and tolerate the damage that even we can bring into family relationship. Because of the extensive time most mothers spend with their children, we must acknowledge and smartly work within right bounds of the power we wield.


This is part two of a 3-part blog on specific personalities of some of my children that taught me to be more astute in my dealings as a mom – especially if I am to honor who they are as people. Remember from the last blog: If you negatively define your child or their world, so will your other children. This eventually serves to disregard the gifts each member of your family carries and truly negatively damages the beauty of your family uniqueness. Here is the second instance defining another opportunity to teach notions of honor within your home.


Welcome this “tale” featuring another annoying childhood personality:

Little Miss “No No”

I believe every family with at least two children might possibly experience one who always gets into troubles of some sort. It must be the destiny of some to only learn through the school of hard knocks and displeasures – always seeming to be on the wrong side of any issue. I have had the distressing “pleasure” of having such a child in at least a few of my own. It makes you feel as if this off-balanced individual can only right themselves by injecting negative into every matter.


One of mine would wake up with such creativity on her heart – or so it seemed. It could be something as simple as taking a shower, but with the shower curtain on the outside of the tub. They would dangerously wet the floor and saturate the toilet paper on its spindle nearby. We would then not only have a dangerous slipping situation in the making, but also wasted supplies as the drying toilet paper would glue itself into a wonderful clump. You can neither ignore nor habitually choose to fix that individual’s mess. It must be addressed and they must correct everything, while also figuring how to replace the damaged supplies.


The inclination here would be for me to “blow my top” in disciplining the child. I could call them out before the entire family and scold them so everyone could hear. Poorly, what that accomplishes is hurt feelings and a child who broods, but also siblings who learn to scold one another or even to pick at each other’s weakness – ones you magnified in a hot moment.


The wisest approach is to take the child aside to address them in private. It helps them hear what you are saying while also honoring them to not be exploited in their errors by others.

Admittedly, there are times when taking a child off to the side for individual corrections is not possible. At times, an act can be so egregious until you must address it immediately, regardless of which other family members are present. Still, you as the parent must use appropriate controls, address the problem and not attack the child, and then leave the matter. Hopefully the child will be embarrassed enough to not repeat any such offense; no one likes to be corrected in front of others.


Your Smart-Parent Take-away: Honor the child, even in their negative moments, by giving them the decency of private correction.

#parenting, #discipliningyourchild, #familybuilding, #faireparenting, #howtoparent, #honoringthechild, #loveyourchild


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